For all intensive porpoises, enough malapropisms to circumvent the globe

Bleacher Report’s copy editors keep a running list of “eggcorns and malapropisms” on the company Yammer.

I thought it would be fun to present a selection of the funniest of them—in the spirit of a good laugh, not to call anyone out. Perpetrators are unidentified. Some of these are from B/R copy, but not all of them.

Please note that this list has been cultivated by copy editors who have caught these mistakes and fixed them, so this is a tribute to the great behind-the-scenes work they do every day. Also note that this list was compiled over a period of many months. It’s not like a Bleacher Report copy editor sees mistakes like this every day.

If you want to avoid this kind of mistake, you might want to consult this list of confused words at englishchick.com, and the massive collection of common errors in English usage.

If you’re going to use a clever turn of phrase, it’s never a bad idea to check and make sure that the phrase is really what you think it is, lest you write something like …

“Beyond the ark.”

“He mustard up the courage ….”

“… didn’t work out as the air apparent.”

“Now is as good of a time as many …”

“WWE paper view.”

“… like walking through a mindfield.”

“… tries to starve off elimination in Game 5.”

“He is a wreaking ball.”

“There’s a lot of parody in the field.”

Teams hoping to draft “Steve Nash’s predecessor.”

“… staying cool, calm and collective under pressure.”

“… made a shot at the buzzard.”

“… he’ll prove to be a worth-wild addition.”

“Terrell Owens has burned his britches around the National Football League.”

He “had been a stable of” his team for years.

“… talented enough to fly the coupe.”

“For all intensive purposes …”

“Without further or due …”

“Some will fall by the waste side …”